It's not about me
At the end of the day, I know it's not about me... but I jus need to express it out. I unloaded my pain and disappointments unto Sand over a span of 30 mins, at one go. She empathised and tolerated the notorious 'D' retching of Jan... My patient leader and friend indeed.
The poetry expression is extremely refined. Very Sand-ish, because 'refined' is the word to describe the way she (and Bea) conveyed my frustrations and implemented a way which will hopefully make my walk less arduous (and boil my blood less often). Though I feel it justifies and represents little of what we originally felt, I am glad that my leaders are with me and inject positive thoughts across despite the situation.
I'm walking, still walking... I feel weary 'cos I see no other supposedly supporting pillar walking with me. Nonetheless, I look to my Tower, Refuge and Pillar of Strength Whose grace is sufficient for me and Him who walks with me.
"Yes, physically tired, but not weary in spirit - nor defeated in mindset."
~ Ming
Yes, this is where I want to return to.
It's all about You
Jesus
and all these is for You
For Your glory and Your sake
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God and I surrender
Jesus
Lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus
I want You to know
I will follow You all my days
No one else in history is like You
History itself belongs to You
Alpha and Omega
You have loved me
And I will share eternity with You
6 Comments:
dearest Raine, you can gimme a big bear hug or help me carry stuff in future to lighten my load! *grins*
Thank God for you.. I know I have wonderful people who love me and are praying that I have a breakthrough & rise up stronger.. I desire the same too. I guess I have to change my perspective and methods I use, so I can help my peers & ushers more effectively and see them grow.. It's tough to be patient, but I'm really trying very hard and will continue to try..
Is there anything I can do for you too? I multi-task pretty well, you know.. *winks*
Hahaa...... you gals are so funny. On a more serious note, Jan you know like what Hui says you are never walking alone.. i think sometimes we always hope our world will be perfect that the people we meet will always be angels..sad to say but most of the time that's just a fantasy.
I may not always say, but you should know i really do appreciate all your efforts and i love you lotsa, really no words can ever express it. And in any case even if no one sees, He can hear your every heart beat.
No matter what, well at least you still have 2 umbrellas to use when you need us; we will always be here to help you chu tou yah?
Have faith in him, have faith in His ppl... Rather than believing things cannot change, believe that there is always a rainbow after the rain. Everytime you are feeling down, remember the rainbow yah? But if you do not look up and see, you will never notice how beautiful the rainbow and the world around you? That means, you want things to change, you must first take a step youself, in our case, always voice things out remember?
Hope to see you smile more happily than ever before!
Blessings and lotsa of love **Hugz**
Raine, all I can say is that we're becoming more and more like our beloved Ming - opportunist slackers! =P
Thanks, Bea.. *touched*
I know people are work in progress.. but I just feel that people don't see the ministry as doing things unto the Lord. It's as if it's a man's ministry and not His. It's as if peers can be taken for granted and standards compromised.
Though I know leaving won't make things better, I contemplated it on various occasions 'cos it sure doesn't feel very good being stuck. Anyhow, I promise I'll be more positive and voice things out more often..
In the midst of all these, I know He's moulding my patience, enlarging my capacity & heart, and strengthening my faith in Him.. I do believe things are changing for the better and will continue to change... I just have to remind myself that things will happen in God's timing.. It's not about me.
My heart beats the same way you know it. It has never changed.
With lotsa love & hugs for my 2 precious umbrellas,
Your armorbearer
Hello dearie,
Life is full of challenges. I believe God knows exactly what you're going through and has not abandoned you to go through this alone, although often it feels very lonely in our times of struggle. I know He has allowed you to go through this for a reason, a good reason, or at least even this is not beyond Him to make something beautiful out of it in His time.
I am glad to know that you have dear friends who are there for you, to encourage you through the rough period. They are God-sent angels (with skin and flesh) to remind you the He cares and loves you dearly.
I am reminded in Is 40:30-31, that the young too can grow weary and faint. This journey of faith requires more than our natural strength. Take time to wait upon the Lord. Wait. Wait. Wait. And before you know it, you will stretch your wings like the eagle and catch the wind of the storm, and find yourself soaring. The storm no longer becomes an obstacle to get rid of or run away from but the very means for your breakthrough.
I will wait with you and look forward to the day when I see you truly soaring! My confidence is in God and His faithfulness, that does not cease even when we are faith-less.
Truly cherish your friendship.
Cheryl, miss you dearly!
Yea, I trust in Him and I'll keep going and wait upon Him... and maybe before I know it, I hit an exponential curve!
These friends of mine you see frequently here are really angels. Thank God for them, and not forgetting you too. Love you, babe. Painfully waiting for you to drop by Singapore again!
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