Ambivalence

Noun. The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea. Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow. Captured this on my way to work... An apt reflection.

From the happy bunny

BoonY wrote me a card and gave me a hand-made wooden rocking chair, with a blue beanie bear that sits on it...

It was really unexpected; yet sincere, encouraging, heart-warming, very comforting during a trying period. Appreciate it heaps.

JaM!

Though the flea market guide for stall owners' blog I said I'll start did not after all, but hey, I am going to do it a second time and all thanks to JSSC. This time, it's Jan and Ming!

Ha, reminds me of "mingrainejan" - the way I named a pix the three of us took together. Raine thought she read "migraine jan" and it must be a pix displaying Jan's tormented expression. Aha, I think the three of us put together do give people migraine sometimes, you think? ;P

Back to the point, come do your Christmas shopping early at our mini bazaar and contribute to a good cause at the same time! *winks*

Date: Friday, 18 Nov & Saturday, 19 Nov 2005
Time: 5 to 10pm
Where: Amphitheatre next to JSSC [see map]

No thanks to the weather and poor event publicity. Sobz. But lotsa appreciation goes little Cheryl, LX and WL for all your LoLs and wonderful company; and BoonY for coming a long way down on Friday though the bazaar turned out to be very different from your imagination.

Space for vent

Have you ever felt that you have been thrown into the deep stormy sea and all you have a little twig or buoy that barely helps you stay afloat? You will struggle with all your might and do everything you can to keep yourself alive.

Change the perspective: Have you, say being a swimming instructor, tried to demonstrate how to swim - theory on land, practicuum in water for the longest time but your students never want to take their own dive? It is like, they will never learn until you push them all in.

My absence at a particular occasion has forced others to take the lead and jump into the water. Very worrying, but the quirky part of me says it carries a certain degree of fun too. Maybe I should disappear more often to bring more people out of their comfort zone. The sleeping zone. The take-Jan-for-granted zone. The I-am-not-made-a-leader-yet zone. It's time for some to wake up their ideas.

My recent MSN nick reads: 前无古人后无来者是我也 - 我叫‘中间人’;但我不爱当. Nobody has questioned me about it so far so I'll explain here...

Bea describes me as 前无古人, 后无来者 when searching for someone to take up a certain portfolio - it means that there's nobody more suitable to take it up. After the one that was (古人) and before the one to come (来者) is the one in between aka the middleman (中间人) lor. Ha.

I love to be the armorbearer. Not being the middleman. But yet I learned a lot from this not so well-liked position that I constantly found myself in.

Quote Bea: You know a dog will never become a cat. But the frustrating thing is that the small cat knows it can grow into a big one but refuses to. Till that happens, I will continue to be longsuffering like my leader and move on ;)