www.oneishy.com/personality/

Jan's personality is Melancholy Phlegmatic.

Overall Melancholy: 19 Phlegmatic: 10 Sanguine: 6 Choleric: 5

Strengths Melancholy: 10 Phlegmatic: 5 Sanguine: 1 Choleric: 4

Weakneses Melancholy: 9 Phlegmatic: 5 Sanguine: 5 Choleric: 1

No reason to despair

I looked like I have been in twilight zone these days, and David's cry in Psalm 69:20 strikes a chord in my heart -

"Reproach has broken my heart,
And I am full of heaviness;
I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none;
And for comforters, but I found none."

I wondered what difference it will make if I participate in the live recording of our church's 2nd worship album. 'The sacrifice of praise' that Pastor preached about - I knew but experienced not. Yet I remembered Psalm 73:25-26 - making God my portion, my choice.

"Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

The same verse that brought me through a particular tough period during my Bible School days in 2002.

So with simple faith, I went. Conclusion: it made a whole lot of difference. Heaps. His presence was so tangible and awesome, and in His presence, nothing else matters. Though I have not walked out of the tough situations, I know I have broke through in the spiritual.

"To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." - Isaiah 61:3

What touched me most was when we sang in one heart, one accord. No music, no songleader. If it touched my heart, I am sure it touched His.

The antidote for the depressed soul, the solution for the spirit of heaviness - put on the garment of praise and praise God! In spite of anything and everything, He is still a good and sovereign God.

There is no reason to despair. Only a season to prepare.

There'll always be struggles and pain, but I can only keep reminding myself to let God be God.

Journey

It feels like my journey... I wonder if you feel the same...

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe

When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to You

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know You'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to You

Sometimes it feels no one understand
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will You break down these walls and pull me through

Cos it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control

Cos it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to You...

~ Corrine May, Journey

Take my twitch away

My newly-acquired toy is a solar powered green smiling buddy that tilts his head from left to right in a soothing momentum.

Purpose: De-stress. He is accompanied with a little white one of its kind and orange daisies. How nice. I deemed it the prettiest thing to look at in my office.

With this new addition on my PC tower, I earned an odd comment: Janice! We're worried about you... you need a green man to be staring at you all the time... Get a real one! *Jan thinks 'ditto' & rolls eyes*

Maybe I rolled my eyes too often. Maybe the green man didn't come to take my stress away but give me twitches.

2 twitches per second for 7 days!

Post-blog note:
Doc says it's pretty common; Jan says, but it's been a week! Doc says since it's so irritating for me or if it persists, he'll send me for botox injection (what?!) to paralyse that muscle so it will no longer twitch. Meanwhile, I'll have to pop some pills for sedation. Hahahaha, botox.