Another world of its own

Folks who love the underwater world, like Raine and RJ, would appreciate this - Deep blue. It is said to defy your imagination, definitely much more than The March of the Penguins. Oh, which reminds me, both the movie sites claims that the documentary movies will be everywhere in June 2005. Erm, July is about to slip past, where on earth can I catch them?

One of my favorite pastimes is visiting Apple's Trailer Site to do the most obvious thing. I'd always say 'O, I'm going to watch this and that and this and that,' but I'd end up watching almost none.

Meanwhile, catch a different/fun side of Nicole Kidman. I think I'm going to watch this... O, and this and maybe this... ...

Above the floods & storms

The storms of your life
will NOT overwhelm you
His love will.

"He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, 'Peace, be still!'
And the wind ceased and there was a great clam." - Mark 4:39

My recent MSN nick says "Jan | Trying to swim out of my swamp". Yep, I sound all tired and muddy while struggling underneath the mountain of work (not my job alone).

Cheryl caught it and sent me an e-card with the message above to encourage yours truly. She is such a dear and cherished friend. Truly, His love through her overwhelms me.

I have really been swamped by many things, literally live on caffeine, and rest very little every day for the past week. Physically I wasn't making it; I suffered from tension headache & gastric, and doc even prescribed multi-vitamins for me... wahaha, they supposedly will help my body recuperate from the fatigue. The amount is going to last me for another 2 weeks. Pretty cool, eh.

My fellow CG member, Leah, puts it so easily - "swamped is the word, man... swim out of it." Well, I know I have to, but easier said than done, pal. Then comes a timely CG message; though not the theme but it reminds us that Jesus is our wisdom. I don't have to swim out of my swamp. How about disregarding my current situation as a swamp? ;)

"God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself." - 1 Cor 1:30 (NLT)

The familiar verse Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" goes like this in verses 12 & 13 of The Message Bible -- "I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Wow...

If you are struggling right now, let me encourage you. If we have Him, we have His presence and wisdom, and His peace calms the storms and guards our hearts. There is no swamp to swim in, only floods and storms to ride above because God can be your wisdom and strength. Only if you let Him.

Meanwhile, I covet His strength upon my mind, body & spirit, and your prayers ;)

Was, is and yet to be

Took this from Ming's blog; she says she now knows what a meme is, but what www.dictionary.com I understand not! Anyway, fill me in with what you think the blanks should be ;)

I _____ Jan.
Jan is _____.
If I were alone in a room with Jan, _____.
I think Jan should _____.
Jan needs _____.
I want to _____ Jan.
Someday Jan will _____.
Jan reminds me of _____.
Without Jan, _____.
Memories of Jan are _____.
Jan can be _____.
_____ is how I describe meeting Jan.
Worst thing about Jan is _____.
Best thing about Jan is _____.
I am _____ with Jan.

People soft

I am tremendously privileged and happy to be part of the ministry's training program, coaching the newly recruited ushers from scratch. I must say I was slightly resistant to the idea of doing it because of my "kiam pak why me?" attitude but yes, I repented from that.

Though it was not as easy as it seems, immediately after the first lesson I requested to train the same group the following week for continuity sake and for the very simple fact that I enjoyed training very much.

It is heartening to see keen faces and great attitudes that shine amongst the new blood and seeing them complete the lessons fills my heart with joy and pride of a parent. I am filled with anticipation to watch them perform independently during their very first duty within the next two weeks. Though I know I must manage my expectations, I certainly hope they remember and apply what they have learnt, and continue to bear the attitude that they must keep on learning.

In the midst of it all, I also felt like a tour guide (Chee Wei asked me before why I am not one before ;P) and a customer service/public relations officer... ahaha. And I felt even more so when I went around publicising the 5566 Bulletin and checking with ushers if they have any potential CG members or friends whom they can recruit during return busing. It was fun.

It's the
"You want recruitment flyer, I have
You want recruitment counter, I am"
kinda thingy.

I was glad I am given the opportunity to leave my previous portfolio to focus on training and recruitment. And whether in ministry or on the new route I am embarking, it seems clear to me that I can go "people soft" besides doing technical stuff and spinning the web... ;)

Spinning the web

Many people have no clue what I do from 9 to 5. I am a swinging bachelorette, partner of spiderman and needless to say, I spin the web at my finger tips. No, it does not imply that I slack so much cob webs form around my workspace.. ;P I am commonly known as the webmaster or more accurately, the webmistress.

I have a multi-faceted portfolio: in-house webmaster, web/graphics designer, database administrator, project manager (to my users), table-turner (to my vendors), minute-taker, proof-reader, and trash collector (literally or not) in the absence of our tea lady; I am esteemed as the IT guru and all in all a miracle performer. Well, I believe now and then I saved many struggling souls who are not so tech-saavy so it's not such a bad job after all.

Pinky and the Brain

Nope, no relations to the cartoon created by Steven Spielberg.

I acquired so many pink tops over the past half a year, my wardrobe has turned from the dark side to the brighter. Oh by the way, one of my favorite colors now is white; quite a drastic change. And if you know Jan, she's a classic black. But recently I wore pink often enough to be called 'Pinky' by San and naturally, she became 'The Brain'.

It's been a month since Pinky and the Brain were separated from each other; shortly after they enjoyed working together and found a friend in each other. Who would have thought a Chinese and an Indian could be good pals?

San left because she desires to apply what she has studied in poly and originally intended her career path to be - Engineering. I'm happy to see her move on and would very much like myself to do the same.

Despite disliking the color pink, she wore pink on the last day of her work just for me. Ahaha, what a dear she is. I can't wait to catch up with her next week!

We are by no chance lab mice and we shan't discuss who's more intelligent than the other. But for all we know, we may together again to take over the world! ;)

The future is ours

Over the years
I've grown to be a part of you
You've cared for me
And open the ways
To a happy and beautiful life
You make me feel warm and safe
And give me hope for a brighter day

It's the little things that we share
The love and joy that's in the air
The children's laughter everywhere
And all our favorite things

Over the years
I've grown accustomed to your ways
And no matter how good others may be
No one cares
Like you've cared for me
Cos deep down inside
I feel you're a part of me
My Singapore
A place where I call my home

As our nation's birthday approaches, this theme song (written in 1991) suddenly rings in my mind. Gee, you won't know what song this really is until you hit the last line, ya? Sounds more like a love song more than a love-my-nation song...

Looking at the NDP 2005 logo, "The future is ours to make" sounds like the song CHC wrote for our 'Future' album a couple of years back. Prophetic, our church is.

Ty is part of the ten-member volunteer team that created the lovely logo. (To my pleasant surprise, at the NDP's site I caught Ty with hair - considering he's still quite "botak" now ;P) The "40" and the crescent make a nice smiley face, don't you think? His proud sister, yours truly, can't help but exclaim to friends each time we see the banner on the streets. *beams*

Promised blessing

The rhema amount has been pledged yesterday. What happens next?

"And now, carefully consider from this day forward: from before stone was laid upon stone in the temple of the LORD -- since those days, when one came to a heap of twenty ephahs, there were but ten; when one came to the wine vat to draw out fifty baths from the press, there were but twenty. I struck you with blight and mildew and hail in all the labors of your hands; yet you did not turn to Me,' says the LORD. "Consider now from this day forward, from the twenty-fourth day of the ninth month, from the day that the foundation of the LORD's temple was laid -- consider it: Is the seed still in the barn? As yet the vine, the fig tree, the pomegranate, and the olive tree have not yielded fruit. But from this day I will bless you."' - Haggai 2:15-19

What is significant about ��this day?�� In the biblical context, the rebuilding of God's Temple has begun but even though it is not finished, the blessing is already beginning. We know the site for our church's new physical building has yet to be decided, but it has already been birthed forth in the spirit, in our vision. When does God's blessing start? Immediately when we turn to Him with an obedient and pure heart.

Just when I have set more or less in my heart what I plan to do at this juncture of my career, God confirmed it - the green light I have been waiting for lit! And true to His word, I have freelance offers coming my way today and in fact, I received other blessings even before I pledged! A friend blessed me with my 2nd diamond jewelry as a birthday gift even when my birthday is 2 months away! Not to mention the same friend gave me the first on the same occasion 2 years ago. And of course, there's more...

Obedience guarantees blessing! Let more blessings and breakthroughs flood my way... I am ready to receive! ;)

Alone, He leaves me not

I don't think I was being overly emotional last night but I really feel like wailing my heart out. It was a surge of emotions rising - weariness, pain, frustration. So lost, so drained.

I guess it's this time that folks go through before and during the building fund period. Tendencies of negative thoughts and stuff seeped in more often than usual. Thoughts like, "I'm already very tired, why must I be in charge of taking some item during a CG meeting?", or "What happened to the rest; why must I be the only one working on this when I'm not the least busy one around?", or "Why do I attract only work and no help? When can I take a break?"

On top of that, I am pretty vexed at work and pondering about the newly opened door for me. The question now is - Am I sure that is where God wants me to be? If yes, when should I leave? One major stay factor: the sum awaiting just before Christmas will allow me to give God more. A heavenly green light, wisdom, anointed common sense, faith, squeaky clean ears - I need them all to make the decision!

Thankfully, in the midst of my busyness today, I still found time and new strength to work on a ministry project, and God also gave me a word to prepare me for the CG meeting.

Today's CG meeting was, if I may use Laudene's lingo, fantabulous. A touch from heaven, I know, will be good medicine for my soul. So I was full of expectancy and focus to worship. Thank God He ministered through His wonderful presence and Word.

I did not expect my CGL to pray for me as I did not lift my hand as an act to respond during ministry time. (Yuh, already badly in need of prayers, still thinking logically!) I surely am thankful that he did. He laid hands and prayed that God will lead me to the way that will not shortchange my destiny at this particular crossroad I am at now; for His wisdom to be upon me; He asked the Lord to take away the fear within my heart and bring me forth into the realm of faith so that I can experience His reality. I cried buckets.

God's presence was there and I was once again assured that He knows my struggles and He will not leave me to do this alone.

Whilst I should be reaching out to Him, He touched my heart and found me again. He is amazing and ever faithful.

Lord You are amazing
You are wonderful to me
I come to You
With outstretched arms
You are all that I need

And to You alone
I bring this offering
I love You
More than words can say
You are my everything

Encourage me quick!

Come to the dizzy side

(Courtesy of Lorraine Yeak's digicam & Kwang's finger)

That's the power of young jan-di's stare... See the Force's behind her... Are you feeling weak and dizzy yet?

Sing grace

Thank you for the song we sing, O hum
Thank you for the food we eat, yum yum
Thank you for the birds that sing-a-ling-a-ling
Thank you, Lord, for everything, amen!

A new song to me, a usual one the new generation sings in school as a form of saying grace... So sweet.

Hwee Tze & Cheah Shun taught me the song over dinner... haha. They also shared some youthfully interesting things at briefing time that will harness teamwork and incorporate fun. Really appreciate them; they are so cute...

5 bucks

I walked more than a kilometre, carrying a load of unwanted books, just to sell them for 5 bucks today! How silly is that? I mean, 5 bucks will be gone by the next day, ya?

A friend comforted me that the books will be a blessing to whoever their readers are... Aha! Okei, I must think positive! Considering I walked more than any typical week day - that should burn at least 200 calories?! Hmmmm, and I took 10 pounds off my poor bookshelf?

I once called the National Library before and the person who answered my query asked me to check with MICA (previously known as MITA) directly, and I was eventually advised to give them away to Salvation Army. Why did I bother, right?

I know Salvation Army provides for the needy, but the organisation ain't a rubbish chute.

And I thought they are worth more than 5 bucks. And I still have more obsolete ones left on the shelf. Literally.

Perhaps selling them to Mr "Karang Guni" is the most convenient and logical thing to do. Well, at least they'll get scrapped and recycled... Yay, am always approving of going green.

I must discipline myself to finish reading all the books I need to read before I start buying again! That'll save me from a lot of trouble... ;P

Managing my expectations

I admit I have a problem of not being able to manage my expectations of people well, and this has created much unhappiness and frustrations within me, and perhaps other people with me the same.

Whilst challenging me to take up more leadership outside the ministry that I serve in, my CGL said this, "If everyone is like you and me, then the whole church would have been raptured because every single soul would have been saved. Leaders are leaders and members are members... Really must learn how to manage your expectations... And maybe you need to humble yourself before you get humbled..."

*nods* Point taken.

I dislike the challenges he gives me, but I love my CGL ;) Spirit-filled 'D'. Yep, that's what I can learn to be.

Lack of TY

Jan: Your parfum is over-powering.
TY : Your nose is over-sensitive.

I miss my bro. Now, I can only get a weekly dose of him because he has to serve the nation.