Peel some skins

Honestly, this year has not been smooth-riding for me. It's been tough. Very tough. Time did not fly past; it actually crept.

Josh said I'm like an onion -- requires a lot of peeling and so many layers to reveal -- while Kwang once asked me why I only share about my opinions, but never my feelings. Yea, that's me... but I'll begin to peel some skins here, not for anyone's benefit but for God's goodness to be revealed and His name glorified.

I must say that it's truly the grace of God that has brought me thus far and I'm at my best now compared to any other point I have been throughout the past twelve months. You must have wondered which low points or valleys Jan could have been in; well, she did and I assure you, you wouldn't want to know more than this. All I can say is, like what Pastor Kong has preached - I had a withered hand and a withdrawn, grieving heart.

A recap of some significant things... I have not been a fruitful evangelist and by 2003, I have only led my good friend, Asher, to Christ. This year I experienced a breakthrough in the way I shared the gospel and I brought DKnY and their mom to church. Praise God for that!

As for ministry, there were a couple of setbacks and frustrations that I have to deal with, but I am very heartened to see growth in my ushers and help them move on to the next level. And with expectations from my CGL and ministry leaders coming upon me, I can only trust God and believe that I can do it.

Having lost a very dear one in the beginning of the year and having every fiber of my being gone through a terrible patch, I am thankful to God that I have grown closer to Him than I've ever been; and I am still learning to allow my heart to be broken and contrite before Him and let His perfect love sustain me.

I'm tremendously encouraged and happy to see my bro saved and serving Him in FCBC. Both of us are beginning to show our love for our parents and are believing together for the entire family to reconcile with our heavenly Father. God, use us and help us...

Regardless of many unhappiness, difficulties, troubles and worries that infest my life and distract me from my priorities, I have to remind myself that God is still God and all things will work together for good for those who love Him; and that nothing and no one should ever be taken for granted.

Let us step into 2005 with a heart full of gratitude for what He has done for us and expectancy for greater things to come. Cheerios to a blessed new year ahead!

For our fellow Asians

Even as we celebrate the birth of Christ and soak ourselves in the spirit of giving, a 9-magnitude earthquake (the largest to strike the globe since 1964) has unleashed devastating tsunamis on coastal areas throughout South Asia, killing more than 23,000 people and leaving a million homeless on December 26.



Among the worst affected countries are Sri Lanka and India, as well as Indonesia, Maldives and Thailand - which are mostly Buddhist, Hindu and Muslim countries and you would realise that Christians make up a very small population and are still being persecuted. And so I pray, Lord, have mercy on the souls of those who have yet to know You...

The resulting convulsion is major; far worse than anyone can imagine. Being here on our little island, Singaporeans are truly very blessed. Let us not forget the less fortunate and the victims of this disaster... pray and GIVE.

Give through Red Cross or World Vision as they are actively responding and channeling emergency relief for the restoration of broken lives and livelihood. Demonstrate love. Send compassion to fellow Asians. You cannot love without giving.

Thanksgiving 2004

I must say it was a great success, thanks be to God! The leaders of both Sections 5 & 6 spent a great deal of time and effort making sure that everything went smoothly -- from the planning to the food to the gifts to the programme operations.

We were all immersed with laughter from the beginning till the end -- all thanks to our two talented-in-telling-flat-jokes mcees, Jie & Ming. It was all fun and spontaneous! The presence of God was strong as we lift up our voices to praise and worship Him, and even when we sang 'That's What Friends Are For' ...

I believe the ushers are touched by one another's passion to serve the Lord and felt loved and encouraged by the leaders, especially during the awards presentation and appreciation speech. It was truly a wonderful time of bonding and coming together for His purpose and in His name. Amen.


The 'I'-est bunch: Jan, Jie, Kwang & Ming echoed, "��Һã�������5566!"
(Photo courtesy from Ming; Lameness courtesy from Ming & Jan)
Note contrast: guys in pink & gals blue!


Proudly presenting the Most Transformed Usher of the section and from my team ... Andrew! (Photo: Yuanhong)

Andrew has truly grown to be more willing over these months and now bears a good attitude. Despite working at the Changi Airport, he has no qualms about taking a cab down from the extreme East all the way down to the extreme West just to be available to help out earlier. He's really willing to go the extra mile for the Lord and I am happy that he won the award!


Combined strength of Sections 5 & 6! (Photo: Dingrong)

Cheerios to a greater year of blessings, growth and breakthroughs for individuals, as sections, as a service, and the ministry too! Let's go from strength to strength and faith to faith!

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for...

~ Dionne Warwick, That's What Friends Are For

Greatest gift of all

Happy birthday, Lord Jesus!

And the miracle happened on Christmas Day...

I invited DKnY's mom to come for the Christmas service and she really came with Darren and Younice; and praise God, she responded to Christ! I'm esctatic! Hallelujah! *jumps for joy* I was literally jumping about at the recycling area like a kid when I heard the news! Yea, ushers must have found me either odd or mad...

I started evangelising to Darren, Kelly, Younice and their mom, Auntie Layhong in the beginning of the year, and the three kids came for the Easter Big Day at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Since then I began to give Darren and Kelly Bible Study, and Darren has been consistently attending church and cell group, and now I believe he has started serving in a ministry. Praise God!

After some time in CHC, Kelly had to go through the arduous period of the 'O' Levels, and thereafter, she decided to be with New Creation Church. You can't imagine the amount of concern and dispointment I have... but really, at the end of the day, I can't help people make choices. My little Younice gave her heart to Jesus too and I am positive about her salvation even though she is only ten. And now, Auntie Layhong is open to the Lord and it is really a miracle from Him. Thank you, Lord for using me! It's my prayer that she continues to come to church and grow to know Jesus more. Pray and believe together with me, my dear friends.

Counting my blessings

I just received my first Christmas card of the year and for the first time from DKnY and their mom... :)

And I happily received my first two Christmas gifts from my newly acquired good friends! Ming bought a blue casual top and Juan bought me '΢Ц����' by ����.

It's actually not about gifts, as in material stuff, but rather, it's a gift of friendship. I know I'm loved and remembered even when they're on a vacation overseas... and honestly, I do miss them when they were away and I'm totally elated to see them again! Ah, the simple bliss of friendship... *beams*

Raine bought me my first pair of hoop earrings with shimmering beads... and my expression was full of question marks? and exclamation marks! wondering why she got something like that for me. Ha, but I think I do like them after trying 'em on.. Thanks, dearie ;) A lovely surprise and a good help to give my dressing a breakthrough! =P

Received a green (yea, just after I blogged after the color of nature) Pashmina shawl from Uncle Vincent, a lovely stack of God's promises in a box from Andrew, and lotsa smiles, hugs and handshakes from fellow Christians. One day in the house of God is truly better than a thousand days in the world!

It was a pretty eventful day -- worked till one in the afternoon; went to Serangoon to pick up Younice for lunch and traveled to Jurong West for the Children's Church service at three; met Kelvin and rushed down to Indoor Stadium on a cab for service duty. I've really been very busy spinning around but I know it's all for the Lord and thus, it's nothing short of a smiling schedule. It is not only for a good cause, but for God's cause. It's all worth it! The Christmas countdown was done with ministry friends at Geylang's ������� cos I craved for my favorite ��������... It was good fun and cosy fellowship.

On Christmas Day, I received this lovely blue Butterfly aromatherapy candle from Jeremy and my beloved section leaders bought me a black tank-top with a pink, beaded cross... Pretty cool, except that it's a little undersize. =| Ha... And ater a long day of ushering duty, Tizane and I spent the rest of the day shopping, fellowshipping and dining at Suntec, N.Y.D.C. Pure madness, I know, but then again, it's Christmas!

Feliz Navidad to all you beautiful people who have one way or another brighten up and made a difference in my life~! ;)

Color of nature

Emode.com says... Ming's true color is Brown, Juan's Yellow and now... Jan, your true color is Green! You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum -- reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

I once thought I hated the color green cos it doesnt' look good on most merchandise or stuff I see; but until I grew to appreciate the beauty of nature, I gradually accepted the hue. Well, I think I would have become an environmentalist or somebody like Anita Roddick... cos I could easily go, "Recycle, recycle, recycle! Go green! Save the planet!"

The Maker of our hands

"You can't make the able willing, but you can make the willing able," I shared with my ministry peers whenever training our ushers comes to mind. Like you can't force a horse to drink, you can't force someone to rise up. Then I thought to myself - for people who are willing but yet don't have certain leadership qualities, will the statement above no longer stand?

"...but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have..." - 2 Cor 8:11-12

Faith without works is dead, the Bible says. I figured one has to be willing and yet available (make time) for discipleship, training and serving. Otherwise, a desire remains as a desire, a seed remains as a seed; until you decide to act upon it, nothing will come forth from it.

Thereafter, ability will follow. The verses tell us that it is not about what you can already do; it is about what you have in your hands and when you offer them to the Lord, He will bless and multiply them just like what He did to the five loaves of bread and two fish. He is God; expect no less from Him.

Every single thing in our lives has not been given to us for misuse or keepsake, but rather, entrusted - a sign of His lordship over us, a test of stewardship in our lives.

Joshua always tells me that it's not about whether I can do it or not, it is about how much I want to do it. Beatrice just reminded us what faithfulness is - It is not burying the five talents you already have and hoping at the end of the day, the five talents remain (Jesus calls this wickedness!); but it is using and multiplying the five talents into ten, twenty, thirty or more!

I remember this scene in the inspiring film 'Patch Adams' when Dr Patch (played by Robin Williams) told a patient to lift up one of his hands and asked him what he saw... Dr Patch himself saw ten. I guess many times when we look at our own hands and see our own inadequacies, we wonder what good can come out of them. The trick is to look beyond. Stare at your own fingers hard enough and soon it'll become a blur. What you'll focus on is no longer yourself but the Maker of your hands.

Don't shortchange God, yourself and the people around you. Can you see beyond?

All I want for Christmas is

Him. Really.

I'd be lost, loveless and wasting my life if not for Him.

What about you? Who's your source of unfailing love and contentment? Who's your life's purpose? Mine is open to you. Only if you believe, only if you would come.

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To the world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

I've finally found the reason for living... Have you?

A fresh start

My cellgroup has recently ceased to exist, well, in some sense; but it's the people that I love and remember, and will surely miss. Even though we have gone through much shaking and things ended on an unexpected note, I was still glad to be part of it.

It's a natural tendency for me to think about the past, and I have to constantly remind myself not to look back. The old has gone, the new has come... It's time to move on.

I met my new cellgroup for the first time last evening and I was given the task to led a group of strangers in games! Well I know playing a game should not contain any stress element but I was pretty nervous, given that it's been some time since I led any item in cellgroup meetings. Thankfully, everyone being warm and friendly, made the game an enjoyable one.

Above and beyond that, God's presence was so awesome... I felt ministered throughout the meeting, and I am totally satisfied and thankful that this is a good start.

So before me is a fresh set of friends to know, a new people to belong to, a new vision to flow with... I am filled with expectancy about what God is going to do in me through this cellgroup and in the year to come. What lies ahead I do not know; I'm only assured that when I continue to walk with Him, everything's gonna turn out blessed and thriving.

And it's really good to feel belonged again.

True meaning of Christmas

Christmas means a lot to me. Besides Easter, this day reminds me of a love; and it was this love for which Jesus came to this world and gave His life for us. Besides all the shopping and holidaying, Christmas is not only a day, but a spirit - of love and of giving. What does Christmas mean to you?

In today's day and time
it's easy to lose sight
of the true meaning of Christmas
and one special night

When we go shopping
We say "How much will it cost?"
Then the true meaning of Christmas
Somehow becomes lost

Amidst the tinsel, glitter
And ribbons of gold
We forget about the child
born on a night so cold

The children look for Santa
In his big, red sleigh
Never thinking of the baby
Whose bed was made of hay

In reality when we look into the night sky
We don't see a sleigh
But a star, burning bright and high

A faithful reminder
Of that night so long ago
And of the child we call Jesus
Whose love, the world would know

~ Brian K. Walters

Feliz cumpleanos

to my MOST talented and sweetest bro! ('cos I only have one! ;P)

O faithful gatekeepers

Here's a little gift
For the simplest reason
To give your face a lift
Tis the lovely season

Eight hours of labor
Made it all worth
With lots of appreciation
And with all our love


Ikea's sweetest tealight holder containing a standard size tealight
with silver ink-coated macaroni alphabets, pressed into it, forming
the word "XMAS"...

Color your lingo

You've got a sweet side that likes nothing better than to be tickled pink. That's why your charming vibe always rubs people just the right way. An affectionate soul like you is always thinking of others, and you find joy in being a generous and engaging part of your community. After all, you know it's much more rewarding to give than receive.

This doesn't mean that you won't stand up for yourself when necessary. But you think things through before acting, and you tread lightly when you can. And there's no better way to make a bigger or more lasting impression on people than by leaving them tickled pink too. A sweet thing like you has a lot to offer the world.

Yicks, I can't believe emode.com says my vibe is Tickled Pink! That's probably the last thing my friends will say I am... 'cos I'm more like black or monochrome?

Well, to be tickled pink means to be very pleased, happy, thrilled, delighted, but the biggest question mark is, why is pink tickled?

...In the first place, pink (as a colour) is always associated with good health. Someone who is "in the pink" is in good health -- for the simple reason that having a pink complexion has traditionally been regarded as a sign of health (while a pale, washed-out expression is unhealthy). Even having a red (or ruddy) complexion was regarded as healthy. Combine that notion with the action of tickling, and you get someone being tickled pink. Brewer��s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable notes that "a tickled person will often appear to be red in the face from laughing". So, if you are very amused or very pleased then you are either tickled pink or else "tickled to death" (that latter meaning something like tickled, or pleased, to the limit). (Source: ABC Online)

Right, now I don't mind being called tickled pink... Ha.

Well, a whole spectrum of idioms is available, so keep applying the colors!

Idol talk

The morning buzzed with the remnant exhilaration from last night's Idol results - Taufik emerged as the winner, becoming the first Singapore Idol!

My colleagues, and a lot of folks I believe, spent bucks on sms-es voting to make sure Singapore gets a proper idol. The sure thing is, we will be better represented by Taufik on a world stage, in spite of the jaw-dropping news: the World Idol competition is scrapped!

Taufik can doubtlessly sing, with proper diction, of course. Yet Slyvester could be necessary for the Chinese Pop market and perhaps, that is why he and the newly crowned crooner are both awarded with the same contract? Will Taufik suffer the same fate as Reuben Studdard and Sly as Clay Aiken? Watch on.