Warm snow falling

It's odd, but I can feel Christmas nearing... like, very near.

The weather is turning cold, the new arrivals at the shopping malls seem increasingly buyable, I'm playing "All I want for Christmas is you" on my laptop, I'm in the mood to give/receive lotsa thoughtful gifts and hugs for/from people (less so on my birthday) and tell a whole bunch of people I love 'em.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and let it come in." ~ Morrie Schwartz

Maybe it's the effect of reading Tuesdays with Morrie... Maybe it's just my favorite season of all... Maybe it's just Jan struck by something out of the norm...

I can visualise snow fall from the sky above and melt before my rosy nose... But yet my heart is filled with this warm and fuzzy feeling, it's indescribable. It's joy. Yea, I think it's JOY from above... Can you feel it too?

Seeing red

I overused my last pair of contact lenses and as a result, my right eye is red, sore and infected. Ok ok, my beloved mamas and sisters who love me so and wish I'd take more care of myself, I know... NO next time! =|

It started at Sunday noon while I was the Traffic understudy and after bearing with the discomfort and pain in that eye for five hours, I decided I have to be excused. When I took out the lense, I saw that it was not in its original shape and alas, a part of it was missing! I tried in vain to see if the missing piece was still stuck somewhere on my eye. I verified with an optician the following day and was assured that the torn part should have made its way out somehow. Phew! Yea, I know. Silly me.

I am legally blind, so I can't take out the left lense as I still needed it to help me get home. Needless to say, I took a cab ride home and slept for the next 12 hours hoping that it'll go away. Apparently, it did not. The optician confirmed that it's an eye infection that won't subside until 7 days later and I still tried to argue with futile efforts, "No, it better go down in 5 days!" Sigh...

Last night I changed my MSN nick to 'Jan e red-eyed' and then I thought of Jane Eyre. Don't ask me why. Oh, maybe it's the similar consonants. So I played around with the letters and it ended up as 'Jan e R-yrE-D'. It's so complicated, I think only Kei sees it. It takes a Literature student to figure Jan out! Ahahahaha...

Praise God it actually did subside a weeeeee bit when I woke up this morning! Yay!

P.S.: Kei told me Kwang is rather sad 'cos his eyes are now astigmatic. So expect to see the no-longer-having-perfect-eyesight-and-still-suave-but-studious-looking Kwang this weekend... ;)

P.P.S.: Keep praying for me, folks! I don't want to be seen as a bespectacled Hotel 2 (or whichever position my leaders put me at)... Yes, in the name of vanity! =P Ming actually suggested that my excuse can be, "Oh, I'm in my glasses 'cos I wanna support Kwang..." But really, I need the healing. Hmmmm, four more days to go...

Song of hope

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~ Ҷ|��

Here comes the whirlwind!

Thanks to my beloved bro, TY, who provided the facilities for calculating my 'DISC' temperament analysis results... and I am type no. 15 - Whirlwind!

For the uninitiated, 'DISC' stands for Domineering (Choleric), Influencing (Sanguine), Steadiness (Phlegmatic) and Compliance (Melancholy). Read more here.

:: WHIRLWIND ::

Strengths & weaknesses at a glance
Optimistic, active, adaptable, personable, gets results
Overly-confident, pushy, nit-picker, verbally pushy, never satisfied

Outstanding traits
People see you as positive, sociable, hyperactive and systematic. You are impatient for quick results, react rapidly, display boredom quickly and respond to a challenge. You are versatile, self-motivated and sometimes irritable. You are able to handle pressure and no problem exerting pressure on others. You are comfortable with shifting goals, new projects and new methods, and you win people when you to with persuasiveness and optimism. You can be diplomatic and precise on one hand, restless and discontented on the other. You are not happy until events or others confirm the correctness of your action or decision. You want to achieve but you want to be right. Often seen as a perfectionist, you strive equally for accomplishment and quality.

Basic desires & internal drives
Basically, you are self-starting, poised, very impatient and conscientious. Lacking a significant 'S' factor, you are a bundle of nervous energy that keeps you going at high speed. But your perfectionism will not allow you to accept just any answer. You want the best answer. In your daily activities, you see a need to weigh the pros and cons of each situation but fast. With one foot on the gas and the other on the brake, you can generate activity, see alternatives and cover a lot of ground.

Need for possible improvement
Sometimes your reactions may be too quick and impulsive. The low level of 'S' leaves you dissatisfied with the status quo and irritated with obstacles. You are apt to jump suddenly to quick, seemingly intuitive decisions. At other times, you may waver and vacillate. Your sometimes aggressive, sometimes cautious behavior confuse your associates.

How to encourage and manage
You work best for a manager who gives you a wide scope of operations, with many problems to solve but you should slow down and not try to do everything at once. And don't let your perfectionism degenerate into indecision. If you don't learn to pace yourself, you will spread yourself too thin.

Isn't it so true? I have been telling my friends lately that I do almost always feel like an octopus... and the breaking news is: some of my tentacles are now entangled! Well, it says so much about me... and I have lots to learn and improve on, or I will soon be feeling like too little butter on too much bread.

I must say that God is really GOOD to have sent great people like friends and leaders into my life to help me along... and hopefully de-tangle me soon enough! I am assured that no matter what I am, God can use whatever I am and what I have for His kingdom's purpose.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28


That's my personality type for now! Click on the graph to see a larger view.

Progressive movement

What kind of girl am I? Cooking to Hook Up says I am the Progressive Girl.

Moderation in all things, excess in nothing. -- Epicurus

Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She might be a Progressive Girl if:
- She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
- She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
- She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
- She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
- She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

Do you agree that's me?

Chop chop

For a total of twenty minutes, I felt like a stubborn dough or a pile of minced meat on the chopping board! Literally.

I made an appointment on behalf of my poor body-aching colleague to go for a massage at this cozy little setup called 'Chop Chop' at Caltex House during lunchtime today. It provides a de-stress express service offering to rejuvenating the working class within twenty to forty minutes, so the brochure claims.

I eventually tagged along to get the same for myself since I have rather tensed shoulders (the normal woes of a typical working lady) and a tendency for migraine. Paying twenty-five bucks for a twenty-minute 'weight-off-me-shoulders' knead (targeting to relieve the neck and shoulders) sounds reasonable.

So we each sat on this interestingly-designed Osim chair meant for head, neck, shoulder and back massages (for foot reflex you basically just lie down elsewhere, I suppose), and the torturing process began. I seriously felt like my body was coming apart! The atmosphere was saturated with scented oil essence and some background music while my mind was totally noisy with "Ouch!", "Gosh, this hurts!", "Sigh, did I make the right decision or not?..." But thank God I walked out feeling good and smelling lavender-ish.

And oh, I can vouch that it's really express but I can't say the same for the part about de-stress 'cos my shoulders are beginning to feel more strained as I type... Gosh, perhaps I may need to get "kneaded" or "chopped" a few more times to feel de-stressed. You think so?

Random pieces

pieces of life too many
bits & bytes slipped thru'
the fingers of memory
they blew adieu

thoughts winked
moments missed
mind's eye blinked
weaving a random tapestry

~ Jan

The above was inspired by some intriguing blogs I bumped into recently and I am totally awed at the way people write these days (and I wouldn't mind joining in the flow)... So, allow me to introduce you these blogs and here are some of my favorites:

"Outside her window, time was a daily passer-by."
- Incertain Plume

"Each windowpane he saw as a sheet filled with liquid writing."
- One Million Footnotes

"Prayer is lighting a candle where the wax that burns is everything in you until all you are is a single plea before God."
- Afterthoughts

For your appreciation and contribution perhaps... ;)

\ Identity crisis /

A colleague of mine got into a mindless discourse with someone from another organisation on whether the slash in "http://" is an oblique or a backslash.

The fact of the matter is, the answer is a fact and nothing subjective or opinionated. I wonder why people waste time arguing about such things.

Well, given that I'm supposedly the most savvy person in the whole office, she called just to clarify where the oblique, slash and backslash are on the computer keyboard.

I have to give the poor slash its identity back.

The definition of a slash from Wikipedia reads: A solidus, oblique or slash, /, is a punctuation mark. It is also called a diagonal, separatrix, shilling mark, stroke, virgule, or slant. All thanks to the wonders of the World Wide Web, the answers to most things are a click away and within a minute or two, I set my confused colleague free by giving her a sensible answer.

So, slash equals oblique equals "/". Naturally, that makes the similarly-looking stroke after you flip it horizontally (yuh, I know I made it sound more complicated now) a backslash "\". Thank you very much.

Fare thee well

the day we knew
you had to leave
we said nothing
so it seems

echoing the voice of ��
we know it��s mushy
but really
we��re gonna miss thee

thru' mouldings
you've taught us
by example
you've led us

though you, being you
don't express much
but truly you've left
footprint in our hearts

so here you have
another scroll
of well-wishes
to bless your soul

celebrating for you
with joy and bliss
yet reminiscing these days
with mixed feelings

so till the next time
we meet again
beam a smile
cos it��ll surely make our day!

Stepping forward

It has been said that the only constant in life is change. Don't changes happen around us all the time? The revolving world changes, things change, people change within and without...

Just a week ago, a leader of mine, Bao, received his promotion to advance to the next level and that means leaving his current responsibilities and embracing new challenges. As a gift of appreciation and farewell, a few of us made him a folio filled with well-wishes from the section that he once and last led.

Besides penning my first attempt of a poem for him on behalf of the whole section, I wrote him something I love, hoping that he finds it relevant and meaningful...

"��ʱ����һ���uصõ�һƬ���, ���˾ɵ��:õõ��µĸж�..."

Sounds like some quote or clich��, but it's part of the song titled '���' written by Ҷ|��, Jimmy Ye. I must say he's a real local talent by the songs he write and compose but he seems to have gone into remission for the past few years. Could he have moved on as well?

Well, coming back to the point, isn't it so true? A doesn't-sound-as-nice English translation may go like this: Sometimes giving up a yard of land, may gain you a vast sky... Giving up the goodness of the past will bring you fresh experiences. How's that?

And it so flows with Pastor Kong's message last weekend... Step forward! Life is about moving on. Everyone of us are called to step forward - NOT step backward, step sideways, stand still or sit down. I know it's difficult 'cos I struggle big time. But each step is a step of faith. We might have lost opportunities to maximise our potential or do greater things in life one time too many, but why don't we now say, "I can do it!" and just do it?

I like what my new leader, Trice, wrote - Life without Regrets. The message is for me. It may well be for you too. Read it and don't just let it ring in your head. Let it resound in your life by acting it out! Let's move on, my friend. I'm in this together with you!

Being really in the flow, I was pleasantly surprised to know that Xuan mused on the same issue! As she touches on destiny and her personal choices, the content is more personal. But having read it, you'll feel as accomplished as she feels after writing such a long post! Check out Sliding Doors, while I leave you with the full lyrics of the moving piece...

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���氮�� �������Ὣ����û
���Ӧ������ ��Ϊ���غ�

��ʱ����һ���u� �õ�һƬ���
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~ Ҷ|��

Have you ever felt this way

It's a simple affinity.

I met Laudene back in 1996. Virtually.

A oustanding lady whom I've never met, but a caring friend I'll never forgot. The beautiful poem she wrote never cease to serve as an encouragement for me...

Have you ever felt this way
That you cannot make it through the day
Without your loved one by your side
And that you have no one to confide

No matter how hard you resolve to try
You wish there was someone to rely
To cheer you on in times of need
To share your joy when you succeed

When you lie awake at night
Wishing for someone to hold you tight
Your heart sinks knowing no one's near
For loneliness is something that you fear

The days when you just feel so down
Work's plenty, you're feeling drowned
There's nothing to look forward to
At the end of the day, it's only you

Have you ever felt this way
That you cannot make it through the day
Without your loved one by your side
And that you have no one to confide

Press on, my dear, no matter what
I'm with you in spirit, we're not apart
So when you need me by your side
All you gotta do is look inside

P.S: Hey, Dene... Happy birthday!" *hugz*

MinD-sweeping

1 correct guess away from scoring for the 'Expert' mode!